The Psychology Of Confidence: Why Real NRLW Confidence Is Earned, Not Given
- John Fadel
- Jul 26
- 6 min read
Introduction
Every player wants confidence.
Every parent wants their daughter to be confident.
Every coach wants confident players.
But almost nobody teaches where confidence actually comes from.
Confidence isn't luck.
Confidence isn't personality.
Confidence isn't pretending you're the best player on the field.
Confidence is earned.
Every training session.
Every fitness drill.
Every video review.
Every difficult conversation.
Every mistake you fix.
Every promise you keep to yourself.
The question isn't:
"How do I become more confident?"
The better question is:
"What have I done today to earn confidence?"
That one question changes everything.
At EXCEL Sports Management, we often talk about our three core values:
Family. Faith. You.
People often ask why You comes last.
The answer is simple.
Because You is the hardest part.
It's easy to talk about confidence.
It's much harder to earn it.
One of the biggest lessons I've learnt throughout my career is this:
You don't build confidence first.
You build value.
When you build enough value, confidence naturally follows.
That's the hidden secret.
Confidence isn't something you chase.
It's something you earn through the value you create.
Throughout this article I'll show you exactly how to build that value through your fitness, attitude, preparation, mentality, commitment and the way you respond to adversity.
Because when you consistently build value, confidence stops becoming something you hope for.
It becomes something you've earned.
BEFORE WE START - Have are read of our Psychology of being dropped BLOG?
How NRLW Confidence Is Built Long Before Game Day
Confidence Starts On Monday, Not Saturday
Players often think confidence appears just before kick-off.
It doesn't.
Confidence starts long before game day.
I always ask players one simple question.
How long is a game?
A little over an hour.
Now ask yourself another question.
How many hours did you spend preparing for that one hour?
Between team training, your individual skill sessions, fitness, gym work, recovery and video review, a committed player can easily invest fifteen hours or more every week.
That's where confidence is built.
Game day doesn't build confidence.
Game day reveals it.
Making mistakes isn't the issue.
How you respond to mistakes is.
If you're willing to challenge yourself, you're going to make mistakes.
That's called learning.
Confidence begins when you finish the last sprint.
When you stay back another ten minutes to improve your passing.
When you honestly watch your own game footage.
When you admit your weaknesses instead of hiding them.
I don't hide my weaknesses.
I confront them.
Because every weakness you ignore becomes a future problem.
Every weakness you confront becomes an opportunity.
Every opportunity creates value.
And value creates confidence.
Ever wondered "What really happens inside a recruitment meeting"
Building NRLW Confidence Through Repetition
Every Rep Is A Deposit Into Your Confidence Bank
Imagine your confidence as a bank account.
Every sprint completed...
Deposit.
Every skill session...
Deposit.
Every tackle technique repeated...
Deposit.
Every gym session...
Deposit.
Every recovery session...
Deposit.
Every honest video review...
Deposit.
Notice I said honest.
Not the review that tells you what you want to hear.
The review that tells you what you need to hear.
That's where improvement begins.
Now imagine the opposite.
Skipping training.
Avoiding fitness.
Ignoring feedback.
Making excuses.
Taking shortcuts.
Every one becomes a withdrawal.
By the time game day arrives you've either invested in yourself...
Or you've spent your confidence.
Many players mistake nerves for a lack of confidence.
They're not the same thing.
Feeling nervous before a game is normal.
Confidence simply allows you to trust your preparation despite those nerves.
Five Ways To Build NRLW Confidence
Confidence Isn't A Feeling. It's A Habit.
1. Master One Skill At A Time
Don't try to improve everything.
Identify one to three weaknesses.
Start with one.
Master it.
Then move to the next.
Whether it's catch and pass, defence, kick pressure, communication or line running, give yourself permission to improve one area before chasing another.
Trying to fix everything often means nothing improves properly.
2. Watch Yourself On Video
Don't just watch the highlights.
Watch your game at least twice.
The first time...
Watch the game.
The second time...
Watch yourself.
Watch every defensive decision.
Every attacking decision.
Your positioning.
Your effort.
Your speed.
Ask yourself:
Where were my feet?
Where were my eyes?
Did I work hard enough away from the ball?
Be honest.
Not negative.
Honest.
Video creates awareness.
Awareness creates improvement.
Improvement creates confidence.
3. Finish Every Session Strong
Confidence comes from knowing:
"I didn't leave anything out there."
Finish every session.
Especially when you're tired.
That's effort on effort.
That's where confidence is earned.
4. Compete Against Yourself
One of my biggest frustrations is watching players constantly compare themselves to others.
Stop worrying about everyone else.
Ask yourself:
Am I better than I was last week?
That's where growth begins.
That's where consistency develops.
That's where value starts to grow.
Eventually you'll stop chasing other players.
You'll catch them.
5. Keep Promises To Yourself
If you tell yourself you're doing extra fitness...
Do it.
If you promise yourself you'll stretch every night...
Do it.
Every promise you keep builds trust.
Eventually you begin trusting yourself.
That's confidence.
Recovering Quickly Builds NRLW Confidence
The Best Players Recover Fast
NRLW Confidence doesn't mean never making mistakes.
Confidence means refusing to let one mistake define your performance.
Miss a tackle.
Recover.
Drop the ball.
Recover.
Get beaten.
Turn and chase.
Recover.
One thing I always ask players is:
Did you drop the ball on purpose?
The answer is almost always no.
So don't waste energy feeling sorry for yourself.
React.
Dive on the ball.
Kill the play if you can.
Get back up.
Pack the scrum.
Get ready for the next opportunity.
Coaches, recruiters and scouts notice these moments.
They're watching your response.
Anyone can look good when everything is going well.
Great players respond when things go wrong.
Sometimes your second effort changes the entire game.
Even when it doesn't, it tells everyone watching exactly what your attitude is.
Effort on effort.
That's value.
And value creates confidence.
How Coaches Recognise NRLW Confidence
Confidence Isn't Loud
Players often think NRLW confidence is:
Talking.
Celebrating.
Being loud.
Showing emotion.
Coaches usually see confidence through:
Consistency.
Effort.
Communication.
Decision-making.
Body language after mistakes.
Professional habits.
That's real confidence.
One of my biggest pet hates is players switching off when the ball isn't in their hands.
Always be proactive off the ball.
Show urgency.
Stay engaged.
Another habit I dislike is becoming a lazy decoy runner.
Even if you know the ball probably isn't coming your way, run every line as though it could.
Become an option.
Never surrender on a play until it's finished.
Coaches notice those details.
Consistency comes from the work nobody sees.
Effort comes from finding another effort.
Communication isn't simply repeating calls.
It's confidently helping teammates, organising defensive structures and solving problems under pressure.
That's the confidence coaches trust.
NRLW Confidence Can Be Trained
Train Your Mind Like You Train Your Body
Confidence isn't magic.
It isn't something you're born with.
It can be trained.
Coach yourself.
Challenge yourself.
Trust yourself.
Build value every single day.
Because value creates confidence.
Confidence is earned through:
Preparation.
Competition.
Learning.
Reviewing.
Recovering.
Repeating.
Eventually confidence stops becoming something you chase.
It becomes something you've earned.
Final Words From John Fadel
NRLW Confidence
Don't ask yourself:
"Am I confident?"
Ask yourself:
"What have I done today to earn confidence?"
Don't expect confidence overnight.
Take small steps.
Master one area.
Then another.
Then another.
Watch your video.
Do the extra training.
Improve your fitness.
Become better than the player you were yesterday.
When you earn a jersey, your next job is to keep it.
Maintain your standards.
Own your preparation.
If you're the fittest, stay the fittest.
If you're the fastest, keep working to stay the fastest.
Confidence isn't given by coaches.
It isn't given by parents.
It isn't given by teammates.
Nobody can hand it to you.
You build it.
You earn it.
One training session.
One decision.
One habit.
One promise kept at a time.
Don't chase validation.
Focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
Because that's the kind of confidence that doesn't disappear after one bad game.
That's the confidence that builds careers.
Excel With Us.
If you're ready to build real confidence and take ownership of your rugby league journey, we'd love to help.
Contact EXCEL Sports Management and start building your value today.
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