The NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped: What Every Player Needs To Understand
- John Fadel
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
Introduction
Every player dreams about making the team.
Very few prepare themselves for being dropped.
Whether it's the Lisa Fiaola Cup, Tarsha Gale Cup, Harvey Norman Women's Premiership or the NRLW, every player remembers the excitement of seeing their name on the team list for the first time. Families celebrate, teammates congratulate each other and social media quickly fills with photos and messages of support.
But before the celebrations begin, there's an important question very few players ask themselves:
Did I truly earn this jersey, or did things simply fall my way this week?
There's a big difference.
Professional athletes don't just prepare themselves to make the team. They prepare themselves to keep the jersey.
That's where the psychology begins.
One conversation, one team list or one phone call can completely change how a player sees herself.
Over the years I've seen talented players question everything after being left out. I've seen parents hurting more than the player. I've seen friendships change, rumours spread and social media make an already difficult situation even harder.
But I've also seen something far more important.
Being dropped rarely ends a career.
How you respond to being dropped often determines the career you go on to have.
In this article, I want to explain the NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped, not only from the player's perspective, but also from the coach's, the parent's and the teammates'. I'll also explain how we approach these situations at EXCEL Sports Management because learning how to respond professionally is just as important as learning how to play the game.
The Emotional Impact Of The NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped
Confidence, Identity And Building Your Own Value
Being dropped attacks something much deeper than football.
It attacks confidence.
It attacks identity.
For many players, rugby league becomes part of who they are. When they finally make a representative team, the celebrations begin. Families are excited. Friends congratulate them. Social media lights up with messages saying they've made it.
But before that moment arrives, very few players stop and prepare themselves for the possibility that one day they might lose that jersey.
The question every player should ask isn't simply:
"How do I make the team?"
It's also:
"What have I done to earn this jersey, and what do I need to keep doing to deserve wearing it?"
That question builds value.
When you've earned your position through relentless preparation, discipline, fitness and attitude, one setback doesn't destroy your confidence. You know exactly what got you there, and you know you can do it again.
When you haven't built that foundation, being dropped can feel like your world has collapsed.
The emotions are real.
Embarrassment
Disappointment
Anger
Confusion
Frustration
Self-doubt
Some players begin comparing themselves to everyone else.
Others stop enjoying training.
Some even consider walking away from the game altogether.
That's why learning to separate your self-worth from team selection is one of the most important mental skills you'll ever develop.
One lesson I've learnt over many years is this:
Don't pop the champagne bottle too early.
Making the team is only the beginning.
The harder challenge is keeping your jersey.
Every week you start again.
Every week you have another opportunity to prove why you deserve to be there.
That is the mindset of a professional athlete.
NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped: What Players Think Versus What Coaches Are Thinking
Why Selection Isn't Always Personal
This is where most misunderstandings begin.
Players often think:
The coach doesn't like me.
They've got favourites.
I'm never getting picked again.
They don't believe in me.
The reality inside a selection meeting is often completely different.
The coach may be thinking:
She's carrying a small injury.
We need more size this week.
We need more speed on the edge.
We're protecting her workload.
We're preparing her for next season.
The opposition presents a different challenge.
We need better balance across the squad.
Selection is rarely based on one single reason.
It's usually a combination of factors players never get to see.
For example, you may be carrying a minor injury.
Rather than risk you against a lower-ranked side, the coaching staff may decide to protect you for a top-four clash the following week.
That's not punishment.
That's planning.
Another week the coach may prefer speed.
The following week they may need size.
Game plans change.
Opposition changes.
Selection discussions often involve assistant coaches, high-performance staff, medical staff and football department personnel before the final team is announced.
Don't assume the worst.
Ask respectful questions.
Seek feedback.
Then go back to work.
That's how professionals respond.
What Parents Need To Understand About The NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped
Parents Rarely See The Full Picture
No one hurts quite like parents.
Watching your daughter work hard and miss selection is heartbreaking.
Naturally, parents want answers.
One of the most common comments I hear is:
"My daughter is better than that player."
Sometimes you might be right.
Sometimes you might not.
Parents often see the strengths in their own child.
Coaches see the complete picture.
A player may be quicker.
Another may defend better.
Another communicates more effectively.
Another is simply more consistent.
Selection isn't always about talent.
It's about what the team needs.
Parents also aren't at every training session.
They don't hear every conversation.
They don't see every fitness result.
They don't know every injury concern.
They don't know every welfare issue or long-term development plan.
Sometimes frustration becomes gossip.
Sometimes gossip becomes rumours.
Those rumours often cause more damage than the original disappointment.
If concerns continue over several weeks, have respectful conversations.
If the player has a manager, allow the manager to assess whether approaching the club is genuinely in the player's best interests.
Sometimes patience is the better strategy.
The NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped: How Friends And Teammates Should Respond
Culture Is Built During Difficult Moments
Great teams separate themselves during adversity.
When someone gets dropped...
Support them.
Encourage them.
Train with them.
Help rebuild their confidence.
Don't gossip.
Don't fuel rumours.
Don't compare players.
Don't create division inside the squad.
Today's dropped player could easily become tomorrow's match winner.
Culture isn't built when everyone is winning.
Culture is built by how teammates respond when someone is hurting.
What Really Happens During An NRLW Selection Meeting
Understanding The Selection Process
One of the biggest misconceptions in rugby league is that selection meetings are emotional.
Generally, they're not.
They're analytical.
The coaching staff looks at:
Current form
Training standards
Opposition match-ups
Injuries
Fitness
Team balance
Positional combinations
Player welfare
Long-term development
At NRLW level there can also be discussions around:
Salary cap planning
Future contracts
Developing younger players
Managing workloads across an entire season
Video analysis also plays a huge role.
Every game is reviewed.
Every training session is assessed.
Where a team sits on the ladder.
Who they're playing next.
The tactical game plan.
Selection is much bigger than simply asking who played well last weekend.
Why The NRLW Psychology Of Being Dropped Isn't Always Negative
Turning Setbacks Into Growth
Some of the best players I've worked with have all been dropped at some point.
Many now say it became the turning point of their careers.
Being dropped can become:
A wake-up call.
A motivation reset.
An opportunity to improve weaknesses.
A chance to rebuild confidence.
A lesson in resilience.
Some players return mentally stronger than ever.
Others allow one decision to define them.
The difference isn't talent.
The difference is mindset.
Every setback gives you two choices.
Become bitter.
Or become better.
The Coach's Psychology When Dropping Players
Coaches Carry Pressure Too
People often forget coaches are human.
They're judged every week.
Dropping players is one of the hardest parts of coaching.
They're not only managing performance.
They're managing:
Emotions
Families
Team culture
Expectations
Long-term success
Every decision affects real people.
Great coaches think months ahead.
Sometimes years ahead.
They're building sustainable success, not simply trying to win one weekend.
Final Thoughts From John Fadel
If you've ever been dropped...
Don't let one team list define who you are.
Some of the greatest rugby league careers have included setbacks.
Being dropped isn't failure.
Giving up is.
Ask respectful questions.
Keep learning.
Train harder.
Stay humble.
Choose carefully who you seek advice from.
Avoid gossip.
Avoid comparisons.
Focus on becoming a better player every single week.
Become impossible to ignore.
Eventually, selection takes care of itself.
Because your response to being dropped will always say far more about your future than being dropped ever will.
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